The Journey

Rage is a powerful emotion. It is an emotion, and state of being, that I have witnessed in others quite a bit. But it is a fire that I have never allowed to burn within me. It has terrified me. I am beginning to understand why…

Like fire, rage is consuming. Out of control, the blaze can be massively destructive. It feels overwhelming to me. What if I can’t stop it? What if it takes me over? What will be left…?

But there is a time, I am learning, when rage becomes appropriate. When rage is justified. When rage is salvation.

I now feel rage in my body and soul, in a way I have never experienced before. And now I see: rage can be power. Rage can be healing. Rage can be wholeheartedly healthy. Rage can mean much needed change.

I have been told, “Rage is an appropriate human response for when we have been used, for when we have been abused, for when our boundaries have been violated.” It inspires self protection and preservation. It has a very necessary purpose and place.

It’s what we do with it that defines rage. Or perhaps I should say, it’s what we do with rage that defines us. I have mostly witnessed rage as a weapon. I have seen it used to control, to manipulate, to terrify and to dominate. I have feared it because this is how it has been used against me. So without even consciously realizing it, I assumed that I would be doing the same if I let myself go to rage.

Not so, my friend, not so.

Fire can be used to shine light in the dark. Fire can be used to bring warmth to the cold. Fire can be used to transform raw ingredients to life-giving nourishment. Fire is required for alchemy.

Fire can also destroy. It can kill. But there are times when destruction and death are necessary. When it makes space for new life. When it clears the path and the way forward.

Like fire, the rage sucks the oxygen out of my lungs taking my breath away. It makes me white hot from the inside out. But it also propels me. Thank God, it propels me forward. A direction I have not moved in quite some time.

Rage, properly harnessed, can reclaim stolen power. The power I have given away AND the power I have had stolen from me. The power of my true Self.

But hot damn if it isn’t uncomfortable AF! I still don’t “like” rage. But I am making friends with it. I am uncovering peace within it. And I am finding gratitude for it. Rage is helping to save my life. Thank God for rage.

I am no longer afraid of rage. I am no longer afraid. So watch out. …because I am no longer afraid of my power. And I will use this power for change and for good.

…And I welcome the death of the old and the destruction of the past that it brings. Let It Burn.