Rambling

  • Dysregulation, Anxiety and Paralysis

    I’m back to report that life has been life-ing, as usual, and I’m still steady jogging to keep up with it all. We’ve just passed the 3 year anniversary of when #igotout, and to look back at how much life has changed in such a short period of time is positively mind blowing. ðŸ¤¯ I don’t

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  • The Grace of Giving Up

    The Grace of Giving Up

    Giving up is given such a bad rap. We’re continually admonished to “hang in there” and “don’t give up!” Certainly, these words of encouragement are designed to bolster our flagging spirits and push us through to the finish line. It is the “western culture’s” way: to just keep pushing. Often, there is no other choice

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  • The High Price of Trust

    The High Price of Trust

    He told me he loved me. I believed him. He told me he adored me. I adored him. He told me he wanted to keep me safe. I was hurt over and over. He said he was sorry. I believed him. He said he loved me. I thought I loved him. He said he could

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  • Turning Pages

    Turning Pages

    The seasons are changing again, and right on time, so is life. It fascinates me that perpetual change is a constant, and yet I, like so many others I see, still resist it. I have grieved this fact of life deeply. More than anything, I crave for life to be good and settled and for

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  • The Softer Side of Life

    The Softer Side of Life

    The way I see it is, we can use life’s challenges to make us soft or we can use them to make us hard. I think the world’s tendency is toward hardness. We’re given the impression that hardness equals protection, equals safety, equals “smart.” This makes sense in a lot of ways. The tortoise retreats

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  • Back to One

    Back to One

    When I was in college, a popular CW show at the time, Dawson’s Creek, came to film on our campus since one of their main characters had gone off to college in the world of the show. While it posed somewhat of an inconvenience by closing off a whole quad, it also brought some money

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  • Winter is Coming

    Winter is Coming

    I recently had a thought and it arose with concern. I thought to myself, “What if I am most at home within my darkest hours?” and I felt afraid of it being true. I have found that it is often within these darkest hours that I feel closest to myself and closest to a divine

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  • The Season of Change

    “It’s been a long time…I shouldn’t’ve left you…without a dope beat to step to, step to…”~Timbaland Warning: Stream of Consciousness Below In my silence, I am thinking….I am working….it is a long and tedious process and consumes every moment of every day…most of the time. And then suddenly, one day, I wake up and here

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