• From Your Former Friend, Alicia

    Sometimes deep friendship develops out of mutual interests and pursuits: commonalities and loves shared, a resonant view on life. Other times, kinship is born from the bitter circumstances of hardship, cruelty and duress. Soldiers sharing a foxhole, “battle buddies,” can experience a bonding that rivals, if not surpasses, the closest of familial ties. I have

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  • [This is the second in a three-part series. I recommend that you read Part 1 first.] Work Days in the Life: I first came to work at the pet store in June of 2017. It was Keefy himself who suggested the idea. The store was owned by three of my friends (a husband, wife and

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  • Winter is Coming

    Winter is Coming

    I recently had a thought and it arose with concern. I thought to myself, “What if I am most at home within my darkest hours?” and I felt afraid of it being true. I have found that it is often within these darkest hours that I feel closest to myself and closest to a divine

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  • [We interrupt our regularly scheduled programming for this special anniversary post.] June 4th, 2023 It’s 7 pm on a Sunday evening and I’m sitting in my arm chair, laptop in my lap, candle flickering across the room, easy tunes playing in the background. My little apartment is tiny, but so cozy, and the natural light

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  • If you’re wondering what it’s like to be in a high control group or relationship, the first thing to know is that words cannot actually give the experience. It is an all-consuming way of life that impacts your being on every single level: physical, emotional, psychological, spiritual and physiological – all at the same time,

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  • The Call of the Heart

    When my sister reached out to me in an email in late Fall of 2020, my heart quickened in my chest. Once every year or two, she would throw out some little message or feeler. For the last decade, I had rarely responded, and the few times I did, the exchange was brief. It had

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  • In the Life After

    I have made a remarkably beautiful and satisfying discovery since I left the high control group and the abusive personal relationship that came with it. It is so simple and yet so profound: I can love myself. I’m actually pretty damn good at it. During the years I toiled away at my spiritual growth, sitting

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  • I half-stood, half-slumped in the middle of his office, sobbing in his arms. He’d stood up in the midst of my confession, spreading his arms wide in an invitation to embrace. With great hesitance, weighed down by shame, I pulled myself up off the couch to meet his invitation with proper response. As soon as

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  • It’s been over 40 years now in my search for safety. I can quite honestly say I have searched everywhere I know to look, both high and low. I have looked for it in parents, family, the religion of my youth; I have looked for it in education, career choices, various communities, and in money;

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  • When I met the life coach, who would ultimately claim to be my “teacher,” in 2008, he offered me spiritual and metaphysical answers for every confusion, every fear, every doubt and every hurt I had ever experienced. He told me grand stories of his life and all the trials he had traversed. I learned that

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