The Journey

It has recently come to my attention that there are some people from my past (with whom I am not currently in touch) who believe that I have joined a cult. I find this information uproariously funny. It is funny to me because of the deep irony of such a belief or assumption.

When I was a child, I was, in fact…how do I say?…*sigh*…let’s just go ahead and put it out there…okay (deep breath) here it is: I was in a cult…of sorts. [And for the sake of full transparency, I was also a mime–but that’s a whole other post.] To expound upon the cult aspect, I was deeply indoctrinated, and clinically speaking “brainwashed,” in a zealous evangelical charismatic religious community. When I was a child, this was no laughing matter. Fortunately for me, I have recovered my sense of humor.

Because of the many bizarre circumstances of my highly unusual and untraditional childhood, I do not often speak about the first 20 years of my life in great depth or detail (all miming, aside). Besides the fact that “truth is stranger than fiction,” which makes my stories difficult to digest for some people, they used to be painful, and oftentimes embarrassing (i.e.: miming), for me to share. As I have grown older, with space, time, and a great deal of personal healing and development, I have found that I am not so emotionally impacted by these old stories as I once was. Nevertheless, I still find them difficult to convey in a succinct yet comprehensive manner. But now that I’ve found my voice (get it?), I’m going to begin to try.

My experiences growing up in an extremist and cult-like community have provided me with a high degree of insight into the human condition. While I was isolated from mainstream society and surrounded only by adults (in age), I had ample time and nothing else to do but watch. Watch and listen. (No, that’s not a mime reference.) I watched the people around me and I listened to their stories. I knew things about them that it didn’t occur to me that I “shouldn’t” know. A strong, innate intuitive ability was silently honed, without my even realizing it.

While the overall consequences of my family’s time off-the-deep-end have been far-reaching, and in many ways catastrophic, they have also had some interesting, unintended side effects. Along with the intuitive abilities I honed, I gained an awareness and understanding about life and human nature that has given me a definitive edge in my approach to, and understanding of, my own life. It has taken me many years and an enormous amount of inner work to dissect, deal with, and heal the trauma of some of these early experiences; however, I am so appreciative now for all that I have witnessed and learned.

So, I’m not trying to brag or anything, but between my childhood and my deep, abiding love of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BTVS) series, this does make me somewhat of an expert on all things “cult.” At-your-service and thank-you-very-much. Just sayin’. And it is for this reason that I believe I am one of the least likely people to find themselves haplessly and unsuspectingly entwined in some sort of exclusive, fear-mongering, isolationist group.

And it got me to thinking, as a public service and whatnot, I should probably give all of you out there reading this a little first-hand advice on how to detect a cult, or the makings of one. With this knowledge, you will be well-armed against the possibility of accidentally falling into the clutches of some ill-intentioned psycho-fanatical group. (Best of luck to ya!) So without further adieu, I give you:

7 Signs That You May Be In A Cult (from Christie’s personal experience):

1.) You find yourself surrounded only by people who have very little–or no–fashion sense. [Practical Interpretation: Individuality and personal expression is squashed in favor of conformity and adherence to the laws, beliefs, and practices of The Group.]

2.) Similarly, you find yourself surrounded by people who have terrible, or extremely outdated, hair styles (bad perms, crimps, mullets, etc–you get the terrifying picture). [This is just a fact. Hasn’t anyone else noticed that “cult people” tend to have terrible hair-dos? More like hair-DON’TS, amirite??]

3.) You are encouraged or pressured to take part in these terrible hair styles and fashions. (Pass the Bedazzler, Brother Tim!) [Practical Interpretation: Resistance, questioning, and challenging of The Group’s tenets or its leaders is severely discouraged, oftentimes resulting in punishment and/or shunning.]

4.) This group of people tends to seek out exotic adventures and living places in the name of selflessly “doing the work of God” or some other some-such. [Practical Interpretation: The actions of those in charge are ultimately self-serving and happen to coincide with the authority figure’s personal preferences/desires, and/or set the leader(s) apart as special, better, or separate in some way.]

5.) You find yourself eating only MRE’s, food from a can, and powdered milk; and you have to keep a secret “stash” of candy and chocolates hidden away from the prying eyes of authority (to be pulled out and ingested for a high on the sly!). [Practical Interpretation: You are required to make sacrifices on behalf, or at the direction of, the group’s beliefs. Sacrifice and/or deprivation of some sort is required to prove your commitment and worthiness to The Group.]

6.) A trip to the grocery store constitutes a wary pilgrimage to “the main land” (where heathens roam freely!). [Practical Interpretation: Isolationism (see #7), and There is an us-vs.-them mentality within the group: Your group versus another religious group, person, ethnicity, political party, government, the world, etc. The Group may espouse teachings of “Love” but they spread fear, self-righteousness/condemnation and paranoia instead.]

7.) Showers and personal hygiene are drastically downplayed. ‘Nuff said. [Practical Interpretation: You are, or become, isolated from mainstream society and its practices, and sequestered within a very tight-knit community of only those within The Group.]

Bonus Sign: If you are a mime. [Self Explanatory]

While, of course, this is only the tip of the cultish iceberg, and while you may find one or two of these characteristics in your friends or family, your best indicator that you have been swept up in this cult is if you find yourself endlessly trying to defend or justify all of these terrible choices and practices (for example, miming). And if this is the case, then you should probably contact me for: Christie’s 7 Tips for Surviving Life In A Cult. You’re gonna need them.

In the meantime, watch your back for those cults. They love to prey on the unsuspecting and the weak–those who don’t have a mind of their own. And if you suspect that someone you know may be swept up in a cult, first ask yourself: Are they weak? Are they extremely gullible and/or susceptible to mind control? Could it be that they just don’t want you in their life because you, in fact, are controlling, judgmental, and/or disrespectful of their personal beliefs/space/life choices? As a great man once said, “Take the plank out of your own eye first, my friend.”

In Love and Cultlessness,
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